VON MATTERHORN, johnny

[johnny von matterhorn]

_{johnny von matterhorn*}

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now that we know your name, let's get to other basics. why did your parents name you that? is there any big significance to your name?

I really don’t know why my parents named me Johnny, when I have such a kickass last name. Matterhorn. Well, I guess Johnny means I’m loved by Christ. I don’t know.

interesting. how about your age? how old are you? what year are you?

I am seventeen years old, and in second year.

oh, that's nice. i have a lot of memories from that year. so, where were you born? when were you born? and, where are you coming from?

I was born in Santa Barbara, California, and I grew up there. I was born on 20th April, 1994.

ah, that sounds like a lovely place! what do you hope to major in at bouscher? how did you start dabbling in that art?

I hope to major in music. I picked up the guitar, acoustic initially, of course, at the age of six and played it ever since. I also started singing along with a few chords and now I want to do both. A rhythm guitarist slash lead vocalist or something?

what a lovely story! so, who do people say you look like?

This guy called Sean O’Pry.

i see the resemblance! so, tell me about at least ten things you absolutely love.

*Coca Cola
*Eating
*Girls
*Music
*My guitar
*Green Day
*Poetry
*Apple, the company
*Meeting new people
*Pranks
*A happy life

and, how about at least ten things quite the opposite? what do you dislike?

*Android, the operating system
*Buzzkills
*People who don’t like good music
*Modern music
*Drama
*Arrogant bastards
*Failures in accents
*People stealing his ‘moment’
*Not being able to do what he wants
*Not so peaceful mornings
*Traveling

oh, i can relate. well, what are some of your secrets, dreams, and fears?

A secret would be that I witnessed a murder, and I also stared down a gun. And I fear failure in life. I remember a lot of dreams very clearly, and my most horrifying one was dying onstage as I kicked the wah-wah pedal on. Short circuit?

how unique! well, let's go further into it. what are you like?

My seemingly random stream of consciousness often belies the far-reaching logical connections that my observational skills allow him to make. I have an eidetic photographic memory, which helps me remember things over a long period of time very clearly. Sometimes, I like to create crazy situations and then sit back and watch it all go down. I am found rarely being serious; I often crack jokes, make comments about people’s names and their hairstyles. I am cool, calm and collective; I rarely get angry. I am very good with imitating accents and also recognizing them, and I have a knack to use pseudonyms.
So yeah, I do not like to show my weaknesses; I cover them up with sarcasm and silly antics. I’m a sucker for pretty faces; so if I ever see an amazingly pretty girl and look right into her eyes, I’d be in love. I often make fun of European names, and I sometimes have a disturbing habit of laughing as soon as I hear a weird name. I read a lot of detective fiction, so I know how to stage a death properly! Haha, just kidding. I know it’s a very overused cliché, but I just want to live life like there’s no tomorrow.

you are quite the character! well, can you tell me about your history?

On one awesome April night, I was born to Jakob Von Matterhorn and Jessica Matterhorn. They say I was born a breech baby. What’s that mean? Well anyway, I grew up in Santa Barbara, California. I was the second kid of the Matterhorn family; there’s my sister, Stacy, who’s twenty-four now. I’d like to inform you about an incident that took place when I was eight years old. My sister and I – we were walking down a neighborhood after having some ice cream. It was around forty five minutes past nine. I had an awfully bad habit of chasing puppies. So I chased a small, brown puppy that was in the front yard. Obviously, it made a run for it and I chased it. It rounded around the back of the house, and as soon as I rounded the corner, I saw three men, two of them in dark suits and hats, and the other one was down on his knee.
One of the two men in suits leveled a pistol at the kneeling man’s head and shot him thrice. It scared the living daylights out of me, and I gasped. I started sweating heavily and the gunman walked down to me and said, ‘You didn’t see anything.’ He said that with the gun pointing right down the middle of my eyes. And the next time I opened my eyes, I was on the living room couch in my home. For four days, I was down with fever. Three years later, I told my sister about it – everything, sparing no tiny detail. Stacy is the best sister ever, and I love her. Even though we have our tiny fights sometimes, she took special care of me. When I was fifteen years old, I asked around about ‘the guy’ who used to live in the house. They said he died in a freak accident, and the house has never been used.
Of course, I didn’t have the courage to back inside the house. Just the sight of the house blacked me out last year, and my sister had found out about Ehu Island and Bouscher Academy. She talked my parents into sending me here. I was an all right kid, getting good grades and having a normal life except for witnessing a murder. I had a healthy relationship with both my Mom and Dad, and we still talk over the phone sometimes. But my parents don’t know nothing about the incident, and I’m thankful for Stacy to keep it that way.

wow, that's interesting. can you tell me about how you found out about bouscher academy of the arts?

I had no idea there was Ehu Island. It was all my sister Stacy, as I said above. One of her college friends told her about it, and she checked it out on the web. I got good grades and my parents had money. Who’s to stop us?

ah, lovely! well, i've asked everything i needed to. is there anything else i should know?

Nah, that’s pretty much it.

actually, before i go, can you tell me about who plays you?

The Coon is my alias, and I’m 15 now. I found out about the site on Proboards Support.