the best facebook groups

[zaryn kate oliver]

yes. you know all of those amazing facebook groups that you join just because they made you laugh? list 'em here.

• "Are you going to school tomorrow?" "No, I'm riding my unicorn to Alaska."
• Dear Sleep, I know we had some problems when we were younger, but now I love you
• Dora... Stop fucking around and get a GPS.
• Everything is so much funnier when you're not allowed to laugh
• Feeling like a retard when you run with your backpack on
• Friends are like potatos... If you eat them, they die.
• Going to say something and mixing two words together and sounding retarded
• Green man, please give me a chance to walk at least halfway across the road
• How the killer walks but somehow catches up to everybody who ran
• I am not getting out of this bed, it is warm and it loves me
• I can't hear you, so I'll just laugh and hope it wasn't a question
• I grew up calling it "DUCK TAPE" and not "DUCT TAPE"
• I like people who actually make an effort to keep a conversation alive
• I love it when the teacher gets off-topic in class and you don't learn crap
• I love people who keep a smile when they have every right to break down
• I will go slightly out of my way to step on a crunchy looking leaf
• I'm 98% sure someone is eating all my bobby pins
• I'mma be, I'mma be, i'mma i'mma i'mma be, lol jk i'm a wasp
• It's not a man purse, it's a satchel. Indiana Jones has one.
• No one is perfect but being Canadian is close enough
• Oreos. First you twist it, then... oh. It broke. :/
• Pardon me, Sir Gangster? Your trousers are descending.
• "Seriously?" "No, I'm lying."
• Shark. Bait. HOO HA HA.
• SSSHHHHHH... Do you hear that.... HOLY SHIT IT'S THE ICE CREAM TRUCK!!!
• Sometimes your knight in shining armor is just a retard in tin foil
• SORRY BUT I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THIS SUN CHIPS BAG
• Trying to balance the light switch between ON and OFF
• "You look pretty today!" "...Was I ugly yesterday?"
• Were you dissing Canada? I couldn't hear you over my health care benefits.
• When do you think Justin Bieber will have her first period?
• When I have a sharpie, i have the urge to draw on everything

[arizona nicole cassaway.]

• ohh thats a tan?.. i thought you got attacked by a mob of orange markers..
  
• the urge to smile when someone is yelling at you
  
• getting paranoid when i notice patterns on multiple choice tests
  
• dear lord, this year you took my favorite actor, patrick swayzie. you took my favorite actress, farah fawcett. you took my favorite singer, michael jackson. i just wanted to let you know, my favorite president is barack obama. amen
  
• when ash from pokemon turns his hat around, you know shits about to go down
  
• open fridge, nothing. freezer? nothing. might as well try the fridge again.
  
• i understand you got your swag on but could you please walk a little faster
  
• unicorns are real, they're just fat and gray and we call them rhinos
  
• wet season in west texas... "drive for a block, the downpour will quit."
  
• when. i. read. stuff. like. this. the. voice. in. my. head. takes. pauses.