brogan, charleigh raecell

[charleigh raecell brogan]

_{charleigh raecell brogan *}

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now that we know your name, let's get to other basics. why did your parents name you that? is there any big significance to your name?

okay, well, my name is charleigh. yes, like the boys name, except it ends in "eigh" instead of "ie." i have no idea where my mother decided naming me that was a good idea. she was on cack when she named me. literally. anyway, raecell is my middle name. also made up. obviously, brogan is my last name. it's my mother's last name, as she didn't even know who my father is. as if red haired guys are so common. anyway, whatever. that's my name. charleigh raecell brogan.

interesting. how about your age? how old are you? what year are you?

i am eighteen years young, and a third year here at bouscher.

oh, that's nice. i have a lot of memories from that year. so, where were you born? when were you born? and, where are you coming from?

i was born on december 21, eighteen years ago in the middle of no where. i literally don't know where i was born. my mom was in a car with her boyfriend of the moment. i don't know where they were heading. she had me in the car. but i grew up in various parts of washington and oregon, most recently cannon beach, oregon, which is the cutest little beach town, tourist trap. definitely my favorite place in the world. i can't wait to be done here and go back.

ah, that sounds like a lovely place! what do you hope to major in at bouscher? how did you start dabbling in that art?

my major is english. obviously, i hope to be a writer. i've been writing little stories and dinky poems since i knew how to type. i still have a lot of my old work, in fact. some of them are cute but most of them are just dumb. anyway, photography is my minor, because i just love it. my mom was usually giving me the camera at anything she wanted documented, so that was how i got into it, because she sucks at photography.

what a lovely story! so, who do people say you look like?

kay so people have this weird thing saying i look like cintia dicker. i don't even know who that is.

i see the resemblance! so, tell me about at least ten things you absolutely love.

obviously, i love writing. and horses. i was down at the local barn any and every chance i got. i also have a fetish with balloons and old typewriters. i have a collection of really awesome old typewriters. i love country music, especially sara evans. she's fabulous. i also love dogs. i have a german shepherd, raleigh, waiting for me back home. texting was the best invention ever. obviously, photography is wonderful, too. i love dancing around in my underwear and singing in the shower and just generally being crazy. i'm never outgoing enough to do that in public, though. oh, reading, ftw!

and, how about at least ten things quite the opposite? what do you dislike?

my number one hatred is bad grammar. i hatehateHATE it. drives me absolutely bonkers. like, go back to sixth grade english. kay, that was my rant and i'm done now. i hate twitter. don't ask me why. i just think it's stupid. i have nothing against lesbians, but i'm not gonna lie, they do kinda creep me out, just because i had one who was all over me one time, and it was just...gross. so i don't dislike them or anything but..well. yeah. nevermind. i'm just putting my foot in my mouth, here. i also hate moving. which sucks, because me and my mom moved a lot. i don't like the color yellow. i don't know why. i just don't. i don't like when people push me about my mom. we just don't get along, okay? okay. i don't particularly like to travel. i hate planes, because i hate heights. i hate vomiting, with a passion, which is why i never ever ever get drunk. i did it one time and puked my guts out all evening. i'm a tee-totaller now. i hate math. i suck at it. i don't like science much, either, for that matter.

oh, i can relate. well, what are some of your secrets, dreams, and fears?

dreams. i want to become an accomplished writer. like, i wanna be the next nora roberts, because she's fabulous. i sort of want to fall in love, get married, have a happy little family. but i'm totally terrified of falling in love at the same time, and i'm scared of being the kind of mother that my mom was, and is. i've never had an example, so how could i possibly be a good mother? the same sort of goes with falling in love. my mom has never had anybody stable and steady in her life, so how could i possibly know how to make a relationship work? not to mention, everybody says that love hurts. secrets. okay, i've been a cutter since about seventh grade. i never ever say anything about it, because i'd hate for people to think i'm dramatic or just looking for attention, so nobody knows. i never wear short sleeves or anything, but it's just become a fashion statement, so nobody notices. another secret would be that i was raped once by one of my mother's boyfriends. that was when the cutting started in the first place and i just...haven't been able to stop.

how unique! well, let's go further into it. what are you like?

okay, so i'm super quiet. i never have a lot to say and i'm a major introvert. but somewhere inside me there's a crazy bitch who doesn't care what anyone thinks just screaming to be heard. but i don't know how to let her out. i care way too much what people think of me, and as a result i'm always super self conscious and paranoid. i can be a little crazier around my friends and the people i'm really comfortable with, but i never feel like i'm truly being myself. and there's not a lot of those people i'm comfortable with. i'm not exactly the most trusting person around, either. considering the fact that my mother, the one person who generally is supposed to be there for you no matter what, has never ever been a good mother, i find it hard to trust other people. it's the old "if you can't trust your family who can you trust?' thing. so i'm quiet and mostly keep to myself and i hate it. i wish i could be more like those girls who are just crazy and all over the place. i try to be friendly, though, really, i do! obviously i can write a lot, and i think about all these things in my head, they just never go from head to mouth. i usually end up writing them down in my journal, later.

in other respects, i'm really loyal to my friends. i've never had someone i could really count on, and i've been let down, so i don't ever ever want to be that person who lets someone else down. as a result, i work really hard to be there for my friends and do anything i can for them, make a point to tell them that i'm there for them. i guess i'd be inclined to say i'm a good friend. i also have a typical redhead temper. in elementary school, i used to get in fights all the time. these days, i usually go back to my dorm and punch a pillow. i'm better at controlling it, but that temper is definitely still there. and the littlest, stupidest things just piss me off and i don't know why. i don't like it. there's a lot about myself that i don't like, obviously.

you are quite the character! well, can you tell me about your history?

okay, so my mother was a native to portland, oregon. i have lived in stevenson, portland, newburg, seattle, and a plethora of other places. in the course of five years i had attended ten different schools. we moved that often. mostly because my mother was a deadbeat. all her money went into buying drugs or alcohol, and so there was never any money to pay rent. so we usually got kicked out and had to move on. i wanted nothing more than a stable childhood, but of course, i never had it. my mom always had a gaggle of guys coming through. sometimes they'd pay her. mostly they wouldn't. it's kind of a miracle she hasn't died of some damned disease yet, as much as she whores around. anyway. i started writing in little notebooks when i was little. i've been keeping a journal faithfully since about second grade. i started writing stories in, as best as i can tell, fourth or fifth grade. in about sixth grade, i discovered bouscher, and set my sights on having grades good enough to get a scholarship to go there. in eight grade, ryan lars moved in with my mother. he was a deadbeat, drank our beer, ate our food, and didn't do anything except sleep with my mom, and, eventually, rape me. of course, after that, he didn't stick around long, but that was when i started cutting. i don't know it was just...a release, somehow. i made it through my freshman year, and, at sixteen, made it into bouscher. i've been here ever since. i dunno. i don't have a great history, i guess.

wow, that's interesting. can you tell me about how you found out about bouscher academy of the arts?

i saw it on an online add in 8th grade. i've wanted to come here ever since.

ah, lovely! well, i've asked everything i needed to. is there anything else i should know?

i think that's everything important..

actually, before i go, can you tell me about who plays you?

oh, you mean pixel? well, yeah, her name's pixel. i think she found you guys on some site ad or something, and she apparently pulls the strings for colby heart and brooklyn cauldwell, too.