kennis ·· comedy central

[eulaline alette poe]

"come onnnnnn, doe!" eulaline poe pulled her best friend into o'day's with her as soon as the bouncer was distracted by some skinny girl with huge tits. it was comedy night at o'day's (well, every night at o'day's seemed to be a sitcom in the making) and the two cheetahs were about to take their shot at stardom. that night, eulaline's long brown hair was curled because of the extra hour she spent in front of the mirror with her curling iron. she figured, all beautiful female comedians (including kennis) had curly hair, so she had to fit in with the crowd. her makeup resembled marilyn monroe's "bedroom eyes," and her outfit was a simple white blouse, denim shorts, and black military boots. on one of her wrists she had an assortment of gold and green bangles, and on one of her fingers on the opposite hand she wore a rhinestone ring that resembled a cheetah's head. the young girl had been practicing her jokes all day, preparing for her spot in the limelight.

eulaline dragged kennis to one of the tables at the front of the room. immediately, she stopped a waitress to order a couple of drinks. "can we have a couple of strawberry daiquiris? also, could you make sure our glasses are never empty," eulaline handed the waitress a generous tip. as the waitress walked away, eulaline turned to kennis again. "so, here. let me try one on you," eulaline suggested, ignoring the comedian who was up on stage at that moment. "it's totally zach galifianakis inspired." eulaline paused, took a deep breath, and started to speak, "my name is eulaline poe, and-d'uh, i hope i'm pronouncing it right." she slapped her knee for a dramatic, "i'm so clever" effect. "god, if that were my filthy youth status i would totally like that." the waitress came quickly with the girls' drinks, and eulaline happily got started on hers. she wanted to be incredibly wasted by the time it was her time to shine on stage. "i'm so stoked for this! bring it on, ehu island!"

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[kennis brielle duffy]

Kennis laughed loudly at Eula’s joke, she wasn’t quite sure she got it, but Kennis was a lady, and ladies never make their friends feel bad. She took a long drink from her daiquiri to avoid having to give any feedback. “Oh look!” Kennis swallowed and spoke at the same time, resulting in a deep voice; she raised her hand to point at the drunkard stumbling off the stage. “He’s done; do you want to go first?” Kennis spoke rapidly and stood up, waiting for Eula’s response. Before Eula could speak, or Kennis could move, a boy, probably no older than fifteen clambered up the steps and took the mic, Kennis rolled her eyes and dropped back onto her wooden seat. This pub was realistically decorated for a bar in the early nineteen hundreds, at least.

“How rude,” Kennis rolled her wide eyes and stared at Eula, she hoped she’d get the next joke she decided to test out. “Do you want to hear one of mine?” she asked cheerfully, “It’s an old vaudevillian joke, but they’re all dead so they won’t care if I use it,” she shrugged and took another large gulp of her daiquiri, fruity drinks were a gift from god, truly. “A car hit an elderly Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?
“ Kennis paused and examined Chuchie’s face for a brief second, building comedic tension as she told herself before finishing the joke. “And the man says, "I make a good living." she had begun laughing by the time she finished the joke and watched Eula excitedly waiting for her response, which would undoubtedly be uncontrollable laughter at the hilarious joke.

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[eulaline alette poe]

once the drunk on stage stumbled off of it, kennis asked eulaline if she wanted to go first. eulaline's eyes widened, and she began to stammer. luckily, a boy younger than she jumped on stage next. relieved, eulaline exhaled, bringing one hand to her cheek as she tried to decide whether or not she wanted to go before or after kennis. "hm, i'll try to snag a spot after this guy," she offered. eulaline had planned to go after kennis, but what if kennis was actually funny? then, eulaline would hop onto the stage with all her sub-par jokes, and she would be embarrassed for the rest of the night. if eulaline went first, the audience would at least not be comparing her with her potentially-hilarious-best-friend. eulaline attacked her strawberry daiquiri, immediately flagging the waitress for another one. "hey, make sure my glass stays full all night," she said as she slipped a fifty into the waitress's hand. boy, was she smooth. if she were a boy, or ramilda matsen, eulaline would have definitely gone for the cleavage, but the conservative ballerina wasn't drunk enough to be that touchy. though eulaline didn't get kennis's joke immediately, she giggled and slapped kennis's knee. after a while of thinking about it, she still didn't get it. she shrugged, turning to listen to the little boy on stage. eulaline had faith that her performance wouldn't be so bad after all.

"should we wait for a few people to go, or should i go next?" eulaline asked. she wouldn't admit it to kennis, but she felt awfully nervous. eulaline was used to being on stage and in front of people, but for christ's sake she had never really spoken in front of a large group of people before. hopefully, anyone from school wouldn't recognize her if she told a bad joke. the brunette looked around the bar for anyone familiar. all she saw was a shady-looking fourth year whom she had never spoken to, but always saw around campus. eh, no big deal. it's not like that person would gossip about her to anyone she knew, anyway. the guy on stage walked off, and eulaline decided she wasn't drunk enough to go on just then. and that was when she started looking around for that god damned waitress, who at that very moment had in her tray the strawberry daiquiri eulaline was after. "thanks babe, keep 'em coming!" she hollered over the sound of people in the pub talking in between acts. the waitress's smile was probably forced, but she managed to spit out a 'sure thing, doll,' and walk away without hurling the tray at eulaline. eulaline smiled, and sipped on her strawberry daiquiri as she watched the next act.

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